By
John Claypool
This is a story about an old Bendix washing machine
that helped one man get through the valley of loss. *
Story
begins:
His parents acquired
the washer when John Claypool was a small boy. It happened during World
War II.
His family owned no
washing machine and, since gasoline was rationed, they could ill afford
trips to the laundry several miles away. Keeping clothes clean became a
problem for young John's household.
A family friend was
drafted into the service, and his wife prepared to go with him. John's
family offered to store their furniture while they were away. To the
family's surprise, the friends suggested they use their Bendix while
they were gone. "It would be better for it to be running, " they said,
"than sitting up rusting." So this is how they acquired the washer.
Young John helped
with the washing, and across the years he developed an affection for the
old, green Bendix. But eventually the war ended. Their friends returned.
In the meantime he had forgotten how the machine came to be in their
basement in the first place. When the friends came to take it away, John
grew terribly upset -- and said so!
His mother, wise as
she was, sat him down and said, "Wait a minute, Son. You must remember,
that machine never belonged to us in the first place. That we ever got
to use it at all was a gift. So, instead of being mad at it being taken
away, let's use this occasion to be grateful that we had it at all."
The lesson proved
invaluable. Years later, John watched his eight-year-old daughter die a
slow and painful death of leukemia. Though he struggled for months with
her death, John could not begin healing from the loss until he
remembered the old Bendix.
"I am here to
testify," he said, "that this is the only way down the mountain of
loss...when I remember that Laura Lou was a gift, pure and simple,
something I neither earned nor deserved nor had a right to. And when I
remember that the appropriate response to a gift, even when it is taken
away, is gratitude, then I am better able to try and thank God that I
was ever given her in the first place."
His daughter was a
gift. When he realized that simple fact, everything changed. He could
now begin healing from the tragedy of her loss by focusing instead on
the wonder of her life. He started to see Laura Lou as a marvelous
gift that he was fortunate enough to share for a time. He felt
grateful. He found strength and healing. He knew he could get through
the valley of loss.
We all experience
loss -- loss of people, loss of jobs, loss of relationships, loss of
independence, loss of esteem, loss of things. When what you held dear
can be viewed as a gift, a wonder that you had it at all, the memory can
eventually become one more of gratitude than tragedy. And you will find
the healing you need.
* Story from TRACKS
OF A FELLOW STRUGGLER,
by John Claypool
(Insight Press Inc.,
1995).
